Assistant Georgetown Admissions Officer Sara Cohen claimed she could not praise the administration enough for its revolutionary decision to change the university slogan to “Hoya Fafsa.”
“This slogan change will completely alter potential students’ perceptions of the University,” Cohen revealed. “It’s nice to see that the administration is taking a substantial step towards attracting lower income students. The slogan change demonstrates that the Georgetown neighborhood is about more than its million-dollar pastel townhouses, brick-lined streets, gothic architecture, gourmet food, and luxurious boutique storefronts.”
President John DeGioia echoed Cohen’s sentiments. “’Hoya Fafsa illustrates that the university cares about and welcomes its lower income students. I think they’ll really appreciate it,” DeGioia declared. “Hoya Fafsa can also become something students bond over. Lower income students will realize they share the duty of completing their own Fafsa forms, so they can enjoy the application process together.”
In relation to how middle and high-income students will view the new slogan, DeGioia explained, “Hoya” means “what,” so technically the new slogan means “What Fafsa?” Thus high-income students will be able to bond over the slogan with their common unfamiliarity with the Fafsa form. As for middle-income students, I’m not sure how they will perceive the new change…. I haven’t thought too much about it. I’ll get back to you if I think of anything.”
Three weeks later, DeGioia has yet to contact us with his predictions for the middle class students’ perceptions of the slogan change.
**This article is satiric and not meant to be taken as factual.