Republican National Convention Unleashes New Campaign Strategy

republicans-lieThe National Republican Congressional Committee made headlines last month when they launched twenty fake news websites as a part of their 2014 midterm campaigns. Designed to look like real news outlets, these websites serve as platforms for promoting conservative ideals and attacking Democratic candidates involved in local elections.

In response to criticism regarding the fake update websites, NRCC spokesperson, Andrea Bozek responded, “This is a new and effective way to disseminate information to voters who are interested in learning the truth about these Democratic candidates.” For instance, the Duluth Update brought light to truly pressing issues, like who Rick Nolan invites to his fundraisers. Without the hard-hitting journalism of the “Geoff,” the sole writer for all twenty websites, voters would never know that Congressman Nolan invited Rock and Roll legend and convicted sex offender Peter Yarrow to a fundraising event the congressman didn’t even attend.

Bozek continued the interview by explaining that “while Democrats would rather hide their candidates and their reckless agenda, [Republicans] believe that voters deserve to know the facts.” Naturally, the GOP decided that nothing helps voters learn the facts like fake news outlets that post highly opinionated “news” articles under pseudonyms.

In an effort to inform the American public in the most convincing fashion, the NRCC added several aesthetic additions to their websites. For instance, a careful reader might notice that the URL at the top of the Augusta Update page ends reads, “Update70,” despite the fact that the Augusta Update only has one article. Although certain people, like Phillip Bump of the Washington Post, have argued that the NRCC designed these URLs to mislead voters into thinking that these update pages are legitimate news outlets with many stories, Andrea Bozek reminds us that the NRCC is only interested in spreading the truth. Sometimes “the truth” just needs a little bit of decoration.

However, DCCC Spokesperson Josh Schwerin simply couldn’t grasp Bozek’s understanding of reality. Instead, he responded by noting, “the House Republicans’ campaign strategy to overcome their own historic unpopularity is to resort to deception—again.”

Despite criticism regarding the ethical standing of these misleading sites, the NRCC stands by their new websites, claiming, “We’ll let you know when we stop trying to win election through deception.” Former presidential hopeful Mitt Romney also chimed in, confessing, “Deception is a very useful political tool. If it hadn’t been for that 47% video, I could have deceived millions of Americans into thinking that I care about their interests.”

 

Note: This piece is satire and is not meant to be interpreted as fact.

Kyle Murphy